


F.L.A.G. Gang (aka knight rider but everyone has phones)

by wwwdotjester



Category: Knight Rider (1982)
Genre: Chatfic ??, Karr might appear eventually, OH THIS IS A MODERN AU HAHA I FORGOT TO MENTION, That's on me, michael has adhd because I said so, swearing mostly on rc3's part, there's sometimes mild dirty humor sorry, this is my first time posting on here sorry, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-21 08:06:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30018693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wwwdotjester/pseuds/wwwdotjester
Summary: straight up just a knight rider chatfic. This is incredibly self indulgent I am so sorry
Comments: 8
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

**[Michael Knight created group chat: F.L.A.G. gang]**

**Michael:** All of the nagging finally paid off 

**Bonnie:** Everyone say thank you to Devon for actually getting us any kind of communication devices

 **Michael:** Yeah I'm amazed he was able to figure it out

 **Michael:** Old man 

**Kitt** : He does something nice for you, and this is how you thank him? 

**Michael:** I'm not trying to be mean he's just bad with technology 

**Kitt** : ...Thank you, Devon. Michael, stop.

 **Michael:** Wow okay

 **April** : why were you being mean to Devon??? (｡•́︿•̀｡)

 **Michael:** YOU USE KAOMOJIS

 **April** : yeah?? i think they're cute 

**Michael:** Brb crying over this

 **RC3:** uh

 **RC3** : ayo wtf is going on like actually

 **Bonnie:** Scroll up, you can figure it out

 **RC3** : I just got here already bein bullied out of the gc

 **Kitt** : She didn't mean it in a harsh way. She's right, after all. It's easy enough to scroll up.

 **RC3** : ive been bullied by the sentient car 

**Kitt** : This isn't intended to be bullying.

 **RC3** : im

 **RC3** : yea I'm just kidding sorry uhh

 **RC3** : is michael actually crying right now where did he go 

**Michael:** I'm not actually crying I just needed a moment

 **Bonnie:** I watched this man walk in circles around the room multiple times because he saw one kaomoji and freaked out

 **April:** is he afraid of my kaomojis?? is he okay????

 **Michael:** Do you ever do that thing where you feel an emotion and then you have to like

 **Michael:** Do a funky little dance to get it out of your body

 **Kitt** : No.

 **Michael:** You don't really apply to the question but thanks anyways bud

 **Kitt** : You're very welcome, Michael.

 **April:** what are you talking about (・_・;)

 **RC3** : uh yeah I think that's just u my dude lmao

 **Michael:** Oh 

**Michael:** Cool I will pretend that you all said that's completely normal now 

**RC3:** ur really out here having a breakdown over a fuckin emoji

 **Michael:** OKAY WELL IN MY DEFENSE I JUST LEARNED THAT _APPARENTLY_ NOT EVERYONE DOES THE FUNKY DANCE MOVES

 **Bonnie:** Did you actually assume that was normal

 **Michael:** OBVIOUSLY I DID WHAT ELSE WAS I SUPPOSED TO THINK

 **Bonnie:** People literally don't do that though what evidence did you even have

 **Michael:** None

 **Michael:** I just assumed they all did it in private only 

**April** : forbidden dance???

 **RC3** : u imply that u have top secret dances you do when ur alone

 **Kitt** : He does. I have seen them.

 **RC3** : oh my god

 **Michael:** Why would you expose me like this I thought we had something special

 **Kitt** : RC3 asked. Also, no we don't.

 **Michael:** Awesome my heart is now broken

 **Kitt** : Congratulations.

 **Bonnie:** Thank you Kitt for putting this idiot in his place 

**Kitt** : Any time, Bonnie. It was bound to happen eventually.

 **Michael:** RC3 you were right they really do bully you here

 **RC3** : we literally just created this chat and it's already so far derailed

 **April** : what else did we expect

 **RC3** : SBFJFJG TRUE

 **Bonnie:** I stopped expecting things from you guys a long time ago

 **Kitt** : None of you know how to handle yourselves professionally. I have a feeling this is the best we can get.

 **Michael:** I'm not even mad honestly like you're right 

**RC3** : yeah he's right

 **April** : (• ▽ •;)

 **Michael:** Please don't hit me with the kaomojis again I can't handle this 

**April** : why?? do you not like them???

 **Michael:** They're so cute

 **April** : ?????? then why are you telling me to stop (•́ ‿ ,•̀)

 **Michael:** Oh my god 

**Bonnie:** April please you're going to break him

 **Kitt** : She's not going to break him, he's just excited.

 **RC3** : u really couldn't think of ANY other way to word that 

**Bonnie:** DON'T

 **April** : NOO

 **Michael:** No he's also right about that I'm fine

 **Michael:** He's seen me like this before right

 **Kitt** : I have. On multiple occasions, actually. It's fairly normal.

 **Michael:** See confirmed 

**Michael:** I just need to

 **Michael:** You know

 **April** : i really don't

 **Michael:** Like you gotta shake off the serotonin

 **RC3** : what the fuck are you talking about 

**Michael:** I don't know how else to explain it

 **Bonnie:** Okay this has been great but some of us actually have work to do so I'll be offline

 **Michael:** Oof

 **April** : oof 

**RC3** : oof

 **Michael:** Kitt join us

 **Kitt** : No


	2. i did not know I could name chapters.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you don't know the Twin Pennies, I'm happy for you. Make sure it stays that way.

**Michael:** Who are the fictional characters you fear the most and why are they the twin pennies from Raggedy Ann and Andy's Musical Adventure

**Bonnie:** It's 3 AM, what is this

**Michael:** Look at them 

**[Michael has sent an image]**

**RC3:** I REMEMBER THOSE BITCHES I HATED THEM WHY DID U MAKE ME REMEMBER THEM AGAIN

**Michael:** Oops

**April** : i just woke up because my phone was buzzing what is this??? 

**RC3** : girl how are u awake rn. it's so early 

**April** : i just said my phone was buzzing??

**RC3** : oh bruh

**RC3** : i knew that 😎

**Bonnie:** No you didn't 

**Michael:** We're so lucky Devon isn't in this chat I think he'd kill us all for this 

**RC3:** we deserve it 

**April** : NOOOOO

**Kitt** : What's going on?

**Michael:** Lmao read up

**RC3** : NO DON'T

**Kitt** : I already have. I don't like the Twin Pennies.

**Michael:** Damn right

**Kitt** : You all should be asleep.

**RC3** : ok mom

**Michael:** Okay mom

**RC3** : DJFJKHK WE RLLY TYPED THAT AT THE SAME TIME

**Michael:** OH MY GOD

**April** : okay mom

**Bonnie:** Remind me why I'm still in this group chat 

**Kitt** : It's easier to communicate this way.

**Bonnie:** Let me reword: Remind me why I deal with these idiots

**Kitt** : That I don't know. 

**Michael:** It's because you love us

**RC3** : bc u love us

**Michael:** I SWEAR TO GOD

**RC3** : STOP COPYING ME

**Michael:** I SAID IT FIRST 

**RC3:** fuck OFF i thought of it first

**April** : you two are the same person that's why this keeps happening

**RC3:** he stole my fucking identity

**Michael:** I commit tax fraud with your stolen identity

**Michael:** Also is now a bad time to say I actually don't know how taxes or identity theft works 

**Kitt** : Michael, you are an adult. How do you not know how taxes work?

**Michael:** Um

**Michael:** I have literally never done taxes

**Bonnie:** This asshole makes me do his taxes

**April** : he better be paying you

**Bonnie:** Oh I make him pay me I wouldn't do it otherwise

**April** : as you should!!! 

**April** : anyways i think i'm gonna go to bed now goodnight everyone (*´ω｀*)

**RC3** : april id fucking die for u

**Kitt** : Goodnight, April. You're the only one here with sense. 

**Michael:** Okay WOW

**RC3** : u wound me

**Bonnie:** Good

**Michael:** OKAY W O W

**RC3** : shot for my beliefs. bled like a dog

**Bonnie:** What???

**Kitt** : What?

**Michael:** OMG YOU GUYS 

**RC3** : YALL

**RC3:** tf we're the only ones with meme knowledge ,,, a sin 

**[Michael sent an image]**

**Kitt** : I still don't get it.

**Michael:** It's just funny 

**RC3:** the point of memes isn't to understand them it's just funny bc ,,, it is

**Kitt** : That defeats the purpose.

**Michael:** It doesn't actually 

**Michael:** They're funny because they don't make sense

**Michael:** Like that's the whole point

**Michael:** I get why you don't get them though they're kinda weird like you just have to … hm

**Michael:** RC3 help how do I explain memes to him

**RC3** : no u pretty much got it they're rlly only funny to ppl that grew up with em

**RC3** : i think it's a generational thing

**Michael:** Yeah

**Michael:** It's like a part of the culture 

**Kitt** : They can't possibly be that complex. I refuse to believe it. 

**Michael:** You literally asked

**Michael:** Would I lie to you

**Kitt** : Probably.

**Michael:** I WOULD NOT 

**Michael:** I TAKE OFFENSE

**Kitt** : Good. 

**Michael:** JESUS

**RC3** : is bonnie even awake

**RC3** : srry to interrupt ur roast session or whatevers goin on but 

**Bonnie:** I don't want to be 

**RC3** : go to fuckin bed omg 

**Bonnie:** My sleep schedule is ruined and I have lost the will to care, plus this is funny so… No

**RC3** : i worry for u

**Bonnie:** I also worry for me

**Michael:** I think we all do

**Kitt** : I can confirm.

**Michael:** Bonnie your son is worried for you

**Bonnie:** He's my son?

**Michael:** Yeah? Obviously

**RC3** : kitt ur adopted

**Kitt** : I don't think that's how it works.

**RC3** : he doesn't deny it tho

**Michael:** Why would you tell him he's adopted you're so mean

**Kitt** : I don't see how there's anything bad about it. I'm not adopted, but that's beside the point. I took no offense.

**RC3** : I was just lettin him know 

**Michael:** Asshole

**RC3** : WOW

**Kitt** : Language.

**Bonnie:** Language

**RC3** : fuck more of us are typing stuff at the same time now?? are we all a part of a hivemind

**Michael:** Oh my god

**Michael:** Don't get me going on the conspiracy theory rabbit hole 

**RC3** : wait no that actually sounds interesting

**Michael** : I'll have to DM you about to some time 

**Michael:** I'm kind of glad you're interested I've been waiting for SO long to tell someone about it

**Michael:** It's hilarious how dumb some of them get but like it's actually really cool 

**Michael:** Okay so I basically can't even keep my eyes open at this point so I think I'm going to sleep now

**Kitt** : Thank god. 

**Bonnie:** Yeah I think I'll go too

**RC3** : damn ok abandon me and kitt like that

**Kitt** : RC3, let them sleep. They need it.

**RC3** : im just kiddin djfjgj

**Kitt** : What is that?

**RC3** : what's what

**Kitt** : "djfjgj"

**RC3** : oh it's a keysmash

**RC3:** it's like a different version of lmao?

**Kitt** : How did you do it?

**RC3** : u just press anything

**Kitt** : G

**RC3** : oH MY GOD

**Kitt** : Did I do it right?

**RC3** : NO BUT IM LAUGHING SO HARD RIGHT NOW PLEASE NEVEE CHABGE

**RC3** : ok pro tip u need more letters 

**RC3** : like uhh ,, let's say at least five

**Kitt** : GGGGG

**RC3:** please stop being so funny I'm trying to actually teach u holy shit

**Kitt** : I'm not trying to be. I'm just following your instructions.

**RC3** : ok try like different letters

**RC3** : also they don't need to be in all caps idk why ur doing that

**Kitt** : Asdfg

**RC3** : YES 

**RC3** : OMG

**RC3:** U DID IT OH MY FUCKIHN GOD

**RC3** : I XAN REST NOW

**Kitt** : Please do. Also, thank you for teaching me.

**RC3** : ayy no prob 

**RC3** : i can't wait until everyone reads this in the morning omfg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DIDNT KNOW YOU COULD TITLE CHAPTERS


	3. do you listen to girl in red

**Michael:** Okay first of all YOU GOT KITT TO KEYSMASH???

**Michael:** SECOND of all why is RC3 allowed to swear and I'm not 

**RC3** : 1. yes I got him to keysmash 2. it's because ur baby

**Michael:** Oh okay

**Michael:** I did not know I was the baby of this group 

**RC3:** no wait that's april actually

**Michael:** THEN WHY AM I NOT ALLOWED TO SWEAR

**RC3** : THERE CAN BE TWO BABIES 

**RC3** : anyways I think we need to appreciate more that I actually got Kitt to keysmash 

**Michael:** I'm the only one online right now and I'm still mad that you guys won't let me say fuck

**RC3** : MICHAEL HOW COULD U

**Michael:** FUCK

**Kitt** : I'd say good morning, but it seems this morning is going very badly for the both of you.

**Michael:** YOU KEYSMASHED AND DIDN'T TELL ME

**Michael:** OF COURSE MY MORNING IS GOING BADLY

**Kitt:** You shouldn't have fallen asleep, then. You would have been there to experience it.

**RC3** : yeah michael u should have been there 

**RC3** : michael u suck ❤️❤️

Michael: I thought you were against bullying

**RC3:** I'm against people bullying me specifically 

**Kitt** : Please just leave him be.

**RC3** : yeah he's had it hard enough missing the keysmash

**Kitt** : I know you were being sarcastic, but yes.

**Michael:** Hey to be fair I was just playing along and being dramatic about it 

**Michael:** I'm not actually upset or anything 

**Kitt** : Do you still want to see the keysmash, then?

**Michael:** Jesus Christ

**Michael:** Never thought I'd read that sentence with my own two eyes 

**RC3** : and yet

**Michael:** Please I don't think you understand 

**Michael:** I NEED to see the keysmash 

**Kitt** : As you wish.

**Kitt** : tdbgk

**Michael:** I am in tears

**RC3** : IT'S EVEN A DIFFERENT KEYSMASH FROM LAST TIME

**RC3** : CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

**RC3** : I swear to god ur not actually crying over this are u

**Michael:** I feel like I should be 

**Kitt** : You're welcome. Please don't cry.

**Michael:** I will literally cry all over you don't threaten me 

**Kitt** : It sounds like you're the one threatening me.

**Michael:** I am threatening you

**Michael:** I will cry 

**Kitt** : Michael, please. I don't want you ruining anything with your tears. It's just a keysmash.

**Michael:** Oh that's rich

**Michael:** it's JUST a KEYSMASH 

**Michael:** A KEYSMASH FROM THE KNIGHT INDUSTRIES TWO THOUSAND

**RC3** : DID U JUST FULL NAME HIM SHDHGGG

**Kitt** : I believe he did.

**Michael:** HE IS GETTING FULL NAMED BECAUSE HE THINKS THIS IS JUST NO BIG DEAL 

**Kitt** : It is no big deal.

**Michael:** YOU FUCKING KEYSMASHED

**RC3** : NO UR BABY STOP SWEARING

**RC3** : also I just realized kitt basically told u not to cry because he didn't want ur tears on him lmao 

**RC3** : he don't even care about ur emotions

**Michael:** Hold up no 

**Kitt** : That's not true. I do care about his emotions. I just happen to also care about not getting tears all over me. 

**RC3** : michael he won't even let u cry on his shoulder 😔

**Kitt** : Metaphorical shoulder, I'm assuming.

**Michael:** Okay I know you're joking but

**Michael:** Honestly he's allowed to have boundaries 

**Michael:** We never really talked about it but like we do have some and neither of us question them

**RC3** : oh shit

**RC3** : y'all are for real then

**Michael:** What

**RC3** : you guys are like super serious about this lmao 

**Kitt** : We work together. We have to be.

**Michael:** Pretty much yeah 

**RC3** : bestie vibes only tho right 

**Kitt** : Michael. What is he talking about? 

**Michael:** I actually don't know this time

**April** : hi good morning it's a tiktok meme

**Michael:** It's a tiktok meme

**Kitt** : Thank you April, and also Michael for at least pretending to be useful.

**Michael:** I was very useful I told you it was a tiktok meme

**Kitt** : Yes, yes you did. You did a wonderful job.

**RC3** : u guys being wholesome has got me feelin some kind of way ngl

**April** : iconic best friends

**RC3** : literally

**Bonnie:** That wasn't Kitt being wholesome that was sarcasm 

**RC3** : whole gang's awake now

**April** : he was being sarcastic lovingly though

**Kitt** : I wouldn't call it "lovingly." 

**Michael:** I would 

**RC3** : THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGGG

**April** : michael knows what's up!! 

**April** : oh by the way before we derail even more bestie vibes only is basically a different way to say no homo 

**April:** I almost forgot to explain it oops (´ . .̫ . `)

**Michael** : Is it actually 

**RC3:** no homo in this chat

**Bonnie:** There is homo in this chat actually

**RC3:** what

**Michael** : What

**Kitt:** I'm surprised none of you knew this. Bonnie is a lesbian.

**Michael:** WHAT

**RC3:** WELL THATS FUCKIN NEWS TO ME

**RC3:** THERE'S BEEN HOMO THE WHOLE TIME??????

**Michael** : Plot twist of the decade

**April:** i listen to sweater weather :)

**RC3:** KITT PLEASE EXPLAIN

**Kitt:** I don't know what that means. 

**Bonnie:** Oh my god

**Michael:** She's bi

**RC3:** HOW DID U KNOW THAT

**Michael:** Sweater Weather

**RC3:** WGAT

**Bonnie:** How do you know these things you're the straightest person I've ever met

**Michael:** First of all I'm just that powerful okay

**Michael:** And second of all I've met like a LOT of gay people because of my JOB which requires me to meet PEOPLE

**Michael:** I know almost every gay joke

**April:** but are you… you know…

**Michael:** 💅

**Michael:** I'm not but I can pass as one

**April:** HELP I'M CRYING THIS IS SO FUNNY

**RC3** : WGAT THS FUCK IS GOING ON

**Kitt** : I'm just as lost as you are. 

**Bonnie:** Okay let me explain for you two: Sweater Weather = bisexual, Girl in Red = lesbian, 💅 = gay 

**RC3:** it's a whole language omg

**Kitt** : They're finding new ways to communicate. That is… not comforting. 

**RC3:** kitt r u afraid of gay people

**Kitt:** No, but I am afraid of these people.

**Bonnie:** Understandable

**April** : sounds fair

**Michael:** Does that include me

**Kitt:** I am more afraid of you than any other person in this group. 

**Bonnie:** Is it the reckless driving

**Kitt:** It's the reckless driving. 

**RC3:** it's the reckless driving for me

**Michael:** I'm not even that bad 

**April:** you drive like a drunk person having a stroke

**Kitt** : She's right. 

**Michael:** No 

**Michael:** I can drive

**Kitt** : You absolutely can drive. You cannot, however, drive safely. 

**Michael:** Do you ever stop roasting people

**Kitt:** I try my best.

**April:** and we all know gays can't drive

**Michael:** I'm not gay

**Bonnie:** Nobody said you were

**Michael:** It's implied

**April:** im just saying

**Kitt:** Bonnie was right before. Michael is so straight it hurts.

**RC3** : kitt pining

**Kitt** : No.

**Michael:** NO

**RC3:** HAHA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote half of this at like two in the morning enjoy I hope it makes sense still

**Author's Note:**

> it's my fanfic and I can make Michael Knight canonically stim if I WANT to


End file.
